Another gloating post...

As I predicted four months ago, the mainstream press is finally on to the crapfest that is "Manhunt 2."

The AP: Child Advocates Upset Over "Manhunt 2"
ABC News: Is Manhunt 2 the Most Violent Videogame Ever?
CBS News: "Manhunt 2:" Most Violent Game Yet?

For my part, I still don't think many people will buy the game. Most reputable game critics are saying it's mediocre at best and completely, unredeemably antisocial.

A blindness that touches perfection

(And now for an Apple rant.)

As much as I like Mac computers, sometimes I hate Apple.

For instance, I’m interested in the iPhone, but don’t need most of the features. An iPod Touch would be more than adequate... if the calendar feature wasn’t gimped so that you can’t edit or add entries. (C’mon Apple. We can tell it’s the same damn app as the iPhone’s calendar.)

Bigger than that peeve, though, is that Apple is terrible when it comes to providing open systems and fair use to its users. Want an Apple product? Then you must deal with the closed OS, the closed iPod+iTunes relationship and the (for now) closed iPhone platform.

But this is a completely different level of insult and control. To buy an iPhone, you must pay with a credit or debit card. No cash, and no Apple gift cards.

Why? Because their customers want freedom of choice with their iPhone to such an extent that nearly 25% of the user base has hacked their phone in order to install apps or use it on another wireless network.

Apple could listen to its customer base and add app support and sell an open iPhone. But, like the two button mouse, it seems like we might end up waiting a few decades before we can buy an open iPhone. And even then it will be a cheap POS that left clicks when you want it to right click and vice-versa.

And a special, unrelated question for Logan. How long, now, until Jin dies?

NEARD UPDATE: ONE MONTH

DAY ZERO:



DAY THIRTY:



STAY TUNED FOR MORE PRESSING UPDATES!!!

What can I get for 10 dollar?

Not a M.I.A. ticket apparently.

Nintendo thumb...

I have come to accept the fact that I have done permanent damage to my right thumb. And that, eventually, I will have to learn how to write with my left hand.

It isn't so bad once you get past the initial shock. Realistically, we're all destroying parts of our bodies and brains just by living. So ruining a specific part of your body doing something you enjoy really isn't bad. But here is the issue: I'm not sure that I enjoy playing videogames anymore.

This isn't about how videogames have gotten stale, or I've played too many, or, like a longtime aficionado of anything, I've seen everything and I'm sick of whatever I see now because it's the same old thing as the old thing. (Which is all true.) No, I think it might be something else.

See, I am actually sticking to my rule about videogames machines this generation. The one where I say I'll never spend more than $200 on any system. For the most part, I've never really followed it. Sure, technically, I have all but twice. (With the Wii. And the PSP I bought for $250 and later sold for $150.) But there are always accessories and games and all this other crap you have to buy in order to really "own" the system.

Nintendo Gamecube, 2001, for instance I only spent $199.99 for the system... and $30 each for three controllers... $50 each for four games... and $20 for a memory card. I can't remember exactly how much all of that added up to. Mostly because I used student loan money to pay for it. (Yeah, that means I'm probably still paying for that Gamecube. Which I've since traded for Zelda: Twilight Princess Wii, along with $20 to cover the difference in value. All around, another wise investment.)

Yet, recently, I haven't even been tempted to buy a PS3 or an Xbox 360. Granted, both machines are impressive. I love the streaming and media capabilities of both. Particularly the PS3. But I'm not moved to buy either. Even though I have more disposable income today. (Well, maybe I was a little by Bioshock, though, strangely not Halo 3. Much like Bungie, I think I've lost interest in Halo.)

So I must not be as interested in gaming anymore. Either that, or I'm getting wiser in my old age.

That doesn't seem likely.

Product Review, In Brief V

Product: Mountain Dew Game Fuel (Halo 3 Edition)

Judgement: The only thing this beverage fueled was my desire to purge the Milky Way of all sentient life (by means of Ark or otherwise). For optimal misanthropy, consume with marshmallow burgers and marshmallow fries.

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

"Today I Am a Werewolf, and the Party’s on the Web"... a.k.a. NBC is incompetent.

30 Rock, a comedy struggling to find a sizable audience, inadvertently stumbles on a viral video treat: an absurd throwaway joke of Tracy Jordan mining the limitless financial potential of Bar Mitzvahplotation. It is the perfect distillation of the show's comedic voice.

I would link you to the clip, but I can't.

NBC, in its infinite wisdom, has pulled the video from all offending websites. Instead of seeing this as a potential marketing vector to allure audiences (a Google cache reveals that the criminal uploader implored curious viewers to watch the show), they have taken the reactionary means of censoring all non-sanctioned use of their intellectual property.

So now, if I wanted to convince somebody to watch the show, I have to tell them to go to the official website, navigate their torturous information architecture, and fast-forward (oh wait! you have to sit through ads) to the scene.

Presumably NBC thinks drowning the show in guest stars alone will save the show. Arrested Development (may it rest in peace) can probably put that theory to rest.

[The Office's go-nowhere Second Life plot thread painfully demonstrates the network's conception of marketing in this brave new world. Then again you Gibson fans may be pleased to note that John Edwards has a campaign office in the over-intellectualized but sparsely populated virtual environment.]

The Daily Show, in contrast, has demonstrated how to effectively create an online archive to rival unsanctioned alternatives (Viacom, it should be noted, is still suing the shit out of YouTube). While I might have downloaded every episode of the Daily Show on my computer that still doesn't give me easy access to, let's say, the Back in Black segments. Luckily for me, some poor intern from Comedy Central spent the better part of a year tagging all of the clips, so a simple search will net me all references to Al Gore. That seems like a small trade-off for the small amount of advertising I have to endure.

Media conglomerates need to develop incentives and more efficient systems than those already in place for consumers to play by their rules.

And are you watching Pushing Daisies yet? You should be.

An Open Letter to Google

Dear Google,

Neither Gmail nor any other Google product has ever helped me get a date or win the lottery. (I trust you have a team of developers working on these and other male pattern baldness related issues as we speak.) But I feel compelled to tell you, both as a consumer and as a user of most things Google, that I love you. Had you and I ever dated, you'd know I don't use that word lightly.

Until now I've been forced to use a dummy AOL account for incoming email and a series of ridiculous filters to make Gmail compatible with my iPhone, but those days are over. I've assured friends and family for the past couple of months that you'd come through with a brilliant solution to solve these problems and, as always, you have. Thank you. For reals. Please never stop being awesome. If I could donate money to you or afford to buy even a single share of your stock, I would in a heartbeat. Instead I'll just keep using all of the wonderful things you make for me, and continue making fun of anyone and everyone who uses anything but Google for...well...everything.

Sincerely,

Ben

PS, thank you for making the Google Maps application on my iPhone one of the coolest and most useful tools in the world. Any time you and Apple team up on something, I promise to buy/use it.

PPS, also thank you for making street view work in Portland, OR. It is rad.

Time-wasting Misery Talkback Week #7

Oct 22 ESPNews reports Miami Dolphins RB Ronnie Brown (knee) will miss the rest of the season.

That about sums up my season right there.

At least there is Fantasy Basketball to look forward to. As per Nell's request this season will be open to all. Just head on over to Yahoo! Fantasy Basketball and join the '99-'00 Lady Panthers:

league #: 110000
pw: westside

How much time until the draft B?

A Debate on the Veracity of Paganism

PROS:



CONS:

Went to the porch to have a thought

I’ve been having nightmares lately. Which is strange. And since I’m kind of an adult now, they don’t do much. Mostly I wake up and think, “that’s really odd.” But then I can go right back to sleep. I don’t even get that adrenaline, heart pumping feeling anymore.

The other night, for instance, I had two long nightmares about Zombies. Which are a fear of mine. (Even though I know they’re not real and all that. Knowing something isn’t real doesn’t really stop you from having nightmares about it.)

But the kicker was the next night. Where I had a dream that included a pedophile trying to kidnap me, a multiple car pile-up that shut down the I-15 freeway, and the freeway somehow turning into sand in the process.

It isn’t so bad. With the Zombies dreams, for instance, I’ve actually been getting good stories ideas. From the nightmare the other night and one a few months ago, I have two ideas that I’ve never seen done in a movie before. Full of the metaphors that the Zombie tales are based on: isolation, xenophobia and terrorism. Now I just need to figure out how to write a good zombie story.

The No Phone Rule

New fact: some clubs will not allow you to take your phone into a concert because your phone is a “recording device.” But they won't post a sign or tell you this until you wait in line for at least 40 minutes.

Which means you may not be able to see much of the Shout Out Louds, if you go to a concert that they play with Interpol and The Liars, because you have to walk back to your car at the Gateway three blocks away.

This rule may not be horrible, because the kids who’d call their friends and hold up their phones the entire show are no longer able to irritate you. But you would have preferred to know before you stood in line for 40 minutes waiting to get to see the Shout Out Louds, whom you’ll only get to hear play two songs.

And even though Interpol is pretty okay, you'll probably be irritated because of the phone thing and because you have to wait for another two-and-a-half hours inside the club after the Shout Out Louds and before Interpol. And through a terrible, stupid, band that doesn’t play songs as much as music they accompany with random noises.

Three down, two up.

Initial verdict on our Fall 07' Freshmen class:

Tell Me You Love Me / Confuses insufferability for profundity. No real schlongs equals no real dice.


Pushing Daisies / Utterly charming. Amelie with a healthy dash of dark humor. The conceit may not hold, but the first episode was pure gold.


Chuck / Good natured but completely inconsequential. I imagine the structure of the pilot repeated ad nasuem. And I just don't trust Josh Schwartz.


Reaper / The dark horse of the year. Hilarious with some surprisingly awesome action sequences. I never thought I would be looking forward to a show on the CW.


Dirty Sexy Money / Passably likable. The pilot was all setup with little payoff and a tacky 11th hour murder mystery. Krause, you can do better.

(Don't Get Any) Big Ideas.

I really didn't think I was ever again going to be engrossed by a Radiohead album. I saw half of these songs live last year, but even that could not quite prepare me for the studio versions.

Is this their best album? Probably crazy talk, but when I am listening I believe it.

Bravo Radiohead.

Stock Update 1.0

Some of you may recall the February post in which I announced my first venture into the stock market. It's been almost exactly eight months since my initial $2,000 investment, and I thought I'd give y'all an update as to the status of my arguably dubious portfolio.

My relationship with PCBK was relatively short lived. Falling back on the pre-investment rules of thumb handed down by my uncle Mark, I sold off all but one of the shares after they lost 10% of their value. I ended up being one of the lucky people to invest in a financial institution prior to the now infamous sub prime lending debacle. Even though Pacific Continental doesn't have any sub prime exposure, the chilling of investor confidence in the lending market has to date driven their stock price down more than 20%. I was smart/lucky to have made it out when I did.

My stock in Apple is a different story. I used the money from my PCBK divestment to buy additional shares of AAPL, and pulled an extra few bucks out of savings to snag a few more. I now own 22 shares, for which I paid a total of $2,182.20 (including transaction fees).

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I know virtually nothing about the stock market. All that I know I've learned from Mark, who, despite the inevitable downswings and occasional disaster, has made a killing by trading individual stocks and funds on his own. One of the first things he told me when I mentioned that I was interested in buying stock in Apple is that it's best to invest in the stuff you know the most about. So, back in February, when I saw that Apple was trading well below its historic highs, and as I was following all of the Apple phone speculation, I figured it was as good a time to buy as any. I knew Apple had something big on the horizon and I wanted it. I also knew tons of people who were buying Mac products for the first time, and had a general sense that the only place for Apple to go was up.

My first shares of Apple cost me $84.43 a piece. They've since announced record earnings and market share, launched the iPhone and the new (ridiculously hot) iMac, and updated iLife and a few other things. Plus, we still haven't seen an earnings report which reflects their acquisition of Logan. And Steve Jobs recently said there would be even more groundbreaking announcements in the months to come (presumably non-Logan related). Today AAPL stock closed at $167.86, just $0.05 off the record high. I suspect I will have doubled my money by month's end.

So now what? Do I stick my earnings in a mutual fund or keep rolling with Apple? I don't have any doubt that Steve meant what he said, and their market share is clearly still growing by leaps and bounds. I'm inclined to keep my money with them for the long haul, but I don't want to be greedy. I guess I could sell half and stick that money somewhere safe, and keep the rest with Apple. What do you guys think?

Riot on an empty street.

Well, Google has finally extended its filthy tentacles to the streets of Portland.

It is fitting then that the digital annals will forever show the hideous Dodge that was abandoned in front our house for 5 months.

And that it will remain a splinter in my mind for eternity.

[Oh yeah, and you can see Ben's car too.]

It doesn't matter as much to me now as it did a few years ago...

...but the Yankees lost!

Go every other team in the league except for the Yankees.

And, actually, I'd love to see the Rockies win a World Series.

Ben just bought Halo 3 from 7/11

What a weenie!

Hmm...

I went through the pictures of the wedding that Ben posted on his Flickr.

A couple favorites:

Sam, Rachel and I. I seem to be channeling Thom Yorke.


Mr. Brad. Preparing for a 1920's-style prize fight.


Logan. Trying to unlock his Hiro power and teleport through time and space. (?)