All the Pretty Horses

Finishing out this nostalgic trilogy of posts on my favorites of 2006:

It was announced on Wednesday that Oprah has picked Cormac McCarthy's The Road for her industry-shaking Book Club.

There is a lot to be said about Oprah's sins - Dr. Phil, Rachael Ray, James Frey - but this is pretty awesome.

McCarthy is amazing and notoriously press shy. Like Pynchon bad. Apparently he has only done two interviews in the past 40 years and has never appeared on television. Watching him sit down on Oprah's couch to discuss his "violent" and "grotesque" post-apocalyptic novel should be interesting to say the least.

And The Road is bleak. We are talking Emma Gross refused to read bleak.

And thanks to Oprah now all of you can purchase the book on the cheap.

Seriously though. The Road is simply stunning -- and, now that I think about it, not all that unlike my favorite movie of the year.

But don't take my word for it.

Douche bag of the month

Former NBA All-Star Micheal Ray Richardson appeared to be getting his life back on track after his league suspension in 1986 for drug use. He was coaching in the Continental Basketball Association and had led his team, the Albany Patroons, to the playoffs. But as they say: What goes up, must come down.

The Patroons have suspended Richardson for the rest of the CBA championship series for comments made to the Albany Times Union on Tuesday.

Before Tuesdays game against the Yakima Sun Kings, Richardson made anti-Semitic comments to two reporters in his office when discussing the contract general manager Jim Coyne had offered him Monday to coach his team in the CBA and USBL.

"I've got big-time lawyers," Richardson said, according to the Times Union. "I've got big-time Jew lawyers."

When told by the reporters that the comment could be offensive to people because it plays to the stereotype that Jews are crafty and shrewd, he responded with, "Are you kidding me? They are. They've got the best security system in the world. Have you ever been to an airport in Tel Aviv? They're real crafty. Listen, they are hated all over the world, so they've got to be crafty."

And he continued, "They got a lot of power in this world, you know what I mean?" he said. "Which I think is great. I don't think there's nothing wrong with it. If you look in most professional sports, they're run by Jewish people. If you look at a lot of most successful corporations and stuff, more businesses, they're run by Jewish. It's not a knock, but they are some crafty people."

And the offensive remarks didn't stop there.

According to the Times Union, Richardson told a fan who heckled him early in Tuesday's game, "Shut the [expletive] up." And near game's end, he shouted at another heckler, "Shut the [expletive] up, you [derogatory term for gay men],"

Assistant Derrick Rowland will coach the Patroons for the reminder of the series. Richardson will not be allowed into the Washington Avenue Armory during practices or games.

"It's terrible and I don't think it's fair," Richardson told the Times Union regarding the suspension. "But I want to make an apology if I offended anyone because that's not me."

The Patroons released a statement apologizing for the coach's remarks.

"The Albany Patroons' organization sincerely apologizes to any individuals or ethnic groups that these alleged statements may have offended," the statement read.

The release also stated that the team and league "shall conduct a full and complete investigation as to the validity of these allegations. If these allegations are true, appropriate action will take place immediately."

Richardson, the fourth overall pick in the 1978 draft, is best known for an embattled NBA career that ended because of drugs. He joined the NBA out of Montana and played eight seasons with the New York Knicks, Golden State Warriors and New Jersey Nets. He was the subject of a 2000 film "What Happened to Micheal Ray?" documenting his troubled life.

In his second year, Richardson became only the second player in NBA to lead in both assists and steals. In 1986, the four-time NBA All-Star was banned for life after he violated the league's drug policy three times in what David Stern called "the hardest thing I've ever had to do as commissioner."

Richardson began his comeback in 1988, joining the ranks of ex-NBA players in European leagues where he played for 14 years. His right to play in the NBA was restored that year but he stayed in Italy, where he was a leading scorer and fan favorite.

Richardson failed two cocaine tests in 1991, though he disputed the results.

Original story can be found here.

The Parallax View

The Children of Men DVD smacks of the ole bait-and-switch double dip.

A single disc edition rushed out to make up for how they buried the film during Oscar season.

Still, in place of the usual technical featurettes and toothless behind-the-seasons interviews with cast members, Cuarón has opted to produce a documentary not on the film itself, but on the peripheral thematic issues which provided the movie which such wonderful texture (ie. Immigration, Global Warming, Constitutionalism).

It is oblique and fairly tangential, but surprisingly profound. As is a ten minute exegesis by Slavoj Žižek of all people.

And since neither bare the authoritative stamp of the auteur, but instead intimate at alternative readings of the film, they should hopefully provide a richer second (or in my case fourth, fifth, and sixth) viewing.

Subtle/TV on the Radio, Roseland Theater, 03/23/07

I have never felt so old.

I was a clear foot taller than everybody else on the floor and all around me in the crowd I spotted various signs of painfully awkward adolescence that mirrored my own.

Curtain haircuts. Wiry chin hair. Jackets tied around waists.

Clearly ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. Except I was never this cool.

While my high school concert choices were limited to Alanis Morissette and Zebrahead, these teens formative years were being influenced by Tunde Adebimpe and an ilk of experimental indie rockers.

I can only imagine what was going through their heads as Doseone prowled the stage spitting out vertiginous lyrics while picking plastic forks from stripped Yorick busts. [This may or may not all make more sense in the context of the album -- Doseone tends to operate with floating signifiers].

Toward the end of Subtle's set, a dad made his way through the crowd to share bemused and bewildered looks with his son about the spectacle unfolding on stage. It was terribly endearing.

The kids are alright.

To tell a vision...

So my TV finally died. Ish. Which is to say it was well on its way to an untimely death.

It has this power issue that I could try to explain poorly. Suffice it to say, the tube was going to go out, and until that point the picture would shrink and expand horizontally and there was a lot of digital noise all over. But only when there were bright colors on the screen.

Imagine trying to play Zelda with Link constantly getting fatter then skinnier.

Oddly enough, I had a five-year warranty on my four-year-old television. That’s akin to winning, I think.

Which brings up my next point. Warranty departments suck. And the warranty department at RC Willey’s excels at sucking.

It took more than two weeks from the day I called the store to find out if I had a warranty until the day they finally agree to give me an undervalued store credit.

Why?

Well, unfortunately for me, RC Willey is phasing out old-fashioned tube TVs. Also unfortunately for me, they wouldn’t simply give me an upgrade to the comparable model they had in stock because I had a 27” and that was a 30”. Oh and unfortunately for me the only “comparable” TV they did have was a piece of crap, $300 STANDARD DEFINITION TV. Also unfortunate for me, the subtle differences between HDTV and SDTV are lost on the RC Willey warranty department.

So after a few days of back and forth where I tell them that the $300 Toshiba isn’t the same as my TV, the service agent (who was nice, but powerless) tells me that I’ll just need to go and talk to a sales person at a store to find a TV that’s comparable.

Well I do. But RC Willey doesn’t carry that model anymore. And they agree to credit me the amount of that TV, but only at the clearance price: $450. (That TV is selling for $550 at BestBuy.)

What this blog post doesn’t get across is that all of this took hours and hours on the phone, on hold, and just waiting. All while my TV is dying and driving me crazy.

The conclusion: I took the $450 credit. Bought the 30” TV. Paid the $200 difference. And now I have it in my home. And I like it too.

And yes, I did spend the extra $100 to buy the 5 year warranty.

There once was a man from Tallahassee... and Persia. Also Brazil.

Don't bother asking how/why I figured this out, just enjoy:

This man, Rodrigo Santoro,
played the nine-foot tall and black-skinned Xerxes in the 300
and this week appeared as "The Man from Tallahassee" in ABC's Lost.
I thought it was kind of funny. No?

Salty seconds.

Clone High.

Add it to the list of amazing shows I missed during my television free undergraduate days.

Fortunately for me, Mason cured me of my ignorance with heaping doses of episodes over the past few weeks.

Everything about the series is gold: from the awesome introduction sequence to Mr. Robotron who enters the pantheon of tertiary characters (ala. Doctor Zoidberg) that manage to comedically transcend their own shows.

I could keep blah-blah-blahing about the show, but luckily for you most of the episodes can be found for free over at Google Video "Beta." It is unclear whether these episodes are being streamed legally or if they are part of the billion dollar YouTube lawsuit.

Either way, I implore you to at least check out the intro.

Wesley.

Nostalgiarama He

Feel better Nell! Here are photos from when you were happy :)







Look! Alexis is laughing at one of your hilarious jokes!





And at least you are not allergic to wheat! (Or a Houpt!)

Extras Extras!!!

Since my time is suddenly at a premium, my brother suggested that he write a blog entry for me. Without further ado...

No, not the “news” slash celebrity gossip television show. I’m talking about the sensational HBO comedy series. A series that matches, if not surpasses, every other great comedy in our time. I'm going to focus on the second season or series, but only because I didn't watch the entire first season –– something I’m now looking forward to.

The second season of "Extras" is everything clever media writers say about these kinds of shows. Some blogger has no doubt called it fresh and creative. I'm sure there’s even some TV critic out there who has likened it to Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Nights Dream" because of its use of a show within a show. No doubt in the same breath saying its ahead of its time.

And while I agree with all those things, there’s more to it than that. It's funny. It's really, really funny. I am breaking it down to its core because not many shows can claim that. From Sir Ian McKellen explaining to Andy how to act. To Daniel Radcliff having his Johnny unwrapped, because, as he says, he’s "ready for action, just hope its big enough." And then there was Chris Martin, insisting that he appear on Andy's World War 2 era "shit-com" to promote Coldplay’s Greatest Hits.

It’s not just the great guest stars that make this show exceptional. The three main characters add so much to this show. A show that's truly about nothing, they make you want to watch what's happening in their shallow lives. And like that other show about nothing. The characters aren't nice: they’re selfish and, more often than not, unlikable. The show isn’t about plot set up or finding resolution in a 1/2 hour. It's just about comedy, it's just about being funny.

This show, not unlike both versions of The Office, is a show you can watch over and over again. And with each viewing you find something new to love and laugh at. And when Andy Milman's character, Mr Stokes asks, "are you having a laugh?" –– more than likely, you will be.

Lies the Internet taught me.

LOGANMIX003: metempsychosis i

I originally had this elaborate plan to make a mixtape in which every artist remixed the subsequent track in the compilation (ie. Since I Left You [Cornelius Remix] would lead into I'm A Cuckoo [Avalanches Remix]), but this turned out to be a real pain in the ass and sounded really terrible (trust me, nobody wants to hear the Blur remix of Massive Attack's Angel).

Instead, by sheer inertia and torpor, the track-listing morphed into a general state of the union on the art of remixing during the past three years.

When the dust settled this included tracks from remix gods like Jacques Le Cont (aka. The Thin White Duke) to personal takes from legendary artists (ie. the Pet Shop Boys). Some of the songs are faithful interpretations with added thump for the dance-floor (ie. Phones Disco Edit), while others cast aside the original almost entirely. Like Hot Chip who reimagines the Scissor Sisters' Take Your Mama Out as if it were played by a kazoo marching band or Max Tundra who puts Franz Ferdinand in a game of dodgeball with ping-ponging Van Halen synths.

So you have to ask yourself: do ya, do ya wanna?

1. The Conductor (Thin White Duke Remix) - The Faint [Danse Macabre Remixes]
2. Miracle (The Rapture Remix) - Supersytem [Miracle, Click-Click, Miracle 12'' Single]
3. Black History Month (Alan Braxe & Fred Falke Remix) - Death From Above 1979 [Black History Month 7'' Single]
4. Banquet (Phones Disco Edit) - Bloc Party [Silent Alarm Remixed]
5. Never Win (Benny Benassi Remix) - Fischerspooner [Never Win Single]
6. Take Your Mama Out (Hot Chip Remix) - Scissor Sisters [Take Your Mama Out 12'' Single]
7. Do You Want To? (Max Tundra Remix) - Franz Ferdinand [The Fallen Single]
8. Nanny Nanny Boo Boo (Junior Senior Mix) - Le Tigre [DJ Kicks: Annie]
9. Chewing Gun (Mylo Remix) - Annie [Chewing Gum Single]
10. Suffer Well (M83 Remix) - Depeche Mode [Suffer Well Single]
11. Come Into My World (Fischerspooner Mix) - Kylie Minogue [Come Into My World Single]
12. Sorry (PSB Maxi-Mix) - Madonna [Sorry EP]
13. Only (Richard X Mix) - Nine Inch Nails [Everyday Is Exactly the Same EP]
14. Clocks (Röyksopp Trembling Heart Mix) - Coldplay [Clocks Single]

A Debate on the Veracity of Catholicism

PROS:




CONS:

Nostradamus blogs among you.

Stop the presses.

Mere months after I lavished Subtle and TV on the Radio with the #1 and #2 spots on my coveted best of 2006 list, both bands decided to team up Voltron style in an obvious attempt to make the best concert of all time.

Coincidence? I think not. I am sure you will all recall that I also predicted that Capitalism and the Protestant work ethic were going to jel together like Goldsmiths and usury [I swear I am good for the money! Lady Luck has not been kind to me this month!].

And in case comments I made in other posts have got you to doubt the concreteness and immutability of my annual list, I just listened to those two albums again and they still rock my world.

But don't take my word for it. If you haven't already, do yourself a favor and buy/download/steal Return to Cookie Mountain and for hero: for fool and then go support Doseone and Tunde Adebimpe at one of the following concerts:

03-01 Providence, RI - Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel
03-02 Boston, MA - Avalon Ballroom
03-03 Montreal, Quebec - Olympia Theatre
03-04 Toronto, Ontario - Kool Haus
03-06 Cleveland, OH - Agora Theatre & Ballroom
03-07 Columbus, OH - Newport Music Hall
03-08 Indianapolis, IN - Vogue Theater
03-09 Louisville, KY - Brown Theatre
03-10 Columbia, MO - Blue Note
03-12 Chicago, IL - Metro
03-13 Chicago, IL - Metro
03-14 Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue
03-15 Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue
03-16 Madison, WI - Orpheum Theatre
03-17 Kansas City, MO - Harrah's Voodoo Lounge
03-20 Denver, CO - Ogden Theatre
03-21 Salt Lake City, UT - Urban Lounge
03-23 Portland, OR - Roseland Theatre
03-24 Vancouver, British Columbia - Commodore Ballroom
03-25 Seattle, WA - Moore Theatre