Friday, July 27, 2007

"It's not a big truck; it's a series of tubes."

CNN hosted a Democratic Debate on Monday with a little a help from the same magical elves who brought you such favorites as Laughing Baby and Pixies lip-syncing.

Yes, that's right. YouTube.

I don't have cable. Nor have I actively followed the debate trail thus far.

But with the help of the internets and the 154 billion dollar Google empire, I was able to watch footage of the debate conveniently broken down by question topic.

I, for one, liked the format.

The YouTubbers threw a dash of personality into the otherwise typical debate proceedings and even occasionally spun the questions in provocative directions.

"Would you work for Minimum wage?" was a particular favorite. And the marriage debate gained an added dimension when it was directly addressed by a homosexual [no, not Anderson Cooper].

The candidates, of course, took this opportunity to fall back on campaign messaging.

Our brand is stasis, I guess.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Chudnovsky Brothers

Waning. 40 percent full.

He stood in the doorway, hands against the frame, felt the grooves in the wood, lumps of paint, felt the way air sucked from room to room.

"Stand here. It's better from here."

He pulled his hands from the frame like they were wedged between the door and the wall and stumbled towards her. The air that filled his face was old, composed of tiny interconnected particles of dust that flickered in the sunlight. She rested her hands on her hips just below the inch of skin between the top of her jeans and her pink tank top. He stood next to the window, looking into the neighbors curtained bathroom, sheer white curtains and musty light from the overcast sky only barely filling the room. He breathed in.

It was ugly. He had hoped it wouldn't be ugly, hoped that ten minutes from now he would be able to go home and sit in his rocking chair and read the paper. But instead it was obnoxiously ugly, plastered with golden peacock wallpaper and brown shag carpet.

"The realtor said it had good bones. And it's the only one so far we can really afford."

He put his hand on her back. That was the thing to do.

He never understood the whole "good bones" phrase. Do some people have "good bones" and some people have "bad bones"? Wouldn't good bones be relative to what kind of bones a person was looking for: tall sturdy femurs (sharp edges) or rounded skulls (or arches) and all of the blood and lymph and cartilage stuffed in corners between dry wall and wooden frames and fluffy pink insulation.

He wondered if he had good bones.

He decided he would describe her bones as "good."

Waxing. 10 percent full.

They painted a closet together. It was a test run for this brick red paint he was convinced would liven up the mundane beige that filled the room. There was only a little light in the closet (artificial 40 watt lightbulb light) and the color wasn't going to look the same in any room with a window. But they painted the closet all the same, breathed in the same fumes, bumped heads and paint brushes against renegade wire clothes hangers. Flung the door nearly off its hinges to let in more light.

He slid down the closet wall. "It's not right. The color is too dark. I can't tell what it will look like when it dries. When it gets old."

"We can have them mix it again." She secretly liked watching them mix paint at the hardware store. Starting with some version of white (shiny or muffled, creamy or blindingly untainted) and adding droplets of pigments that swirled into the paint with wooden sticks like cream in coffee.

Waxing. 5 percent full.

And she was sitting cross legged in the grass in a honey colored straw-hat that shaded her eyes and he could see little red grass imprints on her thighs that had been left by her previous position. And he was walking his pug and wanted very much to touch those thighs. But his sweaty legs kept walking and he squinted into the sun.

Later he drank a beer on his porch. The power lines segmented bits of pink and orange sky, with black bumps of crows and pigeons. He tore the crossword puzzle folded it into a box like a lantern and attached it to a brown crusted nail jutting from the porch. He read the opinion section first, followed by the arts and entertainment section. He spent 10 minutes staring at one of the recently restored unicorn tapestries, each representing the 5 senses (and a final one, "to my only desire"). He spent particular time with the piece representing sight, in which the unicorn's hooves are placed on the woman's knees and the unicorn, with his dangling beard, stares proudly at his own reflection in the mirror the lady is holding.

He stood and walked to the bathroom.

The TV mumbled in the background.

"We can't break it down into a sufficient number of megapixels."

"It will still be too large. Too complex. Like galaxies of thread. Big circles of planets and animals, but no details."

Unidentifiable stuttering. Coughing.

"The camera won't work. It won't photograph the stitching, the fibers, the threads. It will only blend the colors together. We can't rebuild her. Not anymore."

The TV spouted sounds of cracking twigs and boots kicking through leaves.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Inconvenient change.

[Flashback 10 years]

Scene: West High.

Logan catches the Vending Machine Repairman changing the price of a can of Coke from 50¢ to 60¢.

"What gives? How I am supposed to by a drink and a candy bar at the same time?"

"Sorry kid. Aluminum tax on the rise again."

[Flashforward 10 years]

Scene: Tiny's.

Logan picks up a New York Times only to find the price increased from $1.00 to $1.25.

"What gives? How am I supposed to pick up a paper and a cup of joe for two flat?"

"Sorry bro. Dye tax on the rise again."

Sunday, July 22, 2007

"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times‽"

Okay.

The Simpsons movie is coming out this week. Will it be good? Probably not.

That is irrelevant.

Like the rest of you, it has been more than a few years since I have actively watched the series.

And currently I have the hankering to sit down with some real classics.

So, my question to all you is: What would you nominate as some of the most cromulent episodes of all time?

Personally I would pick the following:

10. Homer's Phobia
9. Bart Sells His Soul
8. A Streetcar Named Marge
7. Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk
6. Treehouse of Horror V
5. Homer Bad Man
4. Marge vs. The Monorail
3. Deep Space Homer
2. Last Exit to Springfied
1. Cape Feare

But I am sure there are plenty lurking in the periphery of my brain just waiting to be remembered.

WHAT SAY YOU?

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Goldsmith 1, Firefox 0

I'm a big fan of my MacBook and of Firefox. I'm not, however, a fan of the fact that the OS X version of Firefox comes with a default setting that prevents me from tabbing between links on web pages. For one reason or another, the Mac default is set to only allow tabbing between fields. Bogus and stupid.

I've made several half-hearted attempts to find a way to find and fix what should really be a tab-between-links setting, but until today I'd been unable to find a good start to finish explanation of the process (it isn't a setting you can toggle in the UI--you have to set it using configuration parameters). So in case any of you are having the same problem, here's the solution:

Open a new Firefox window (or tab) and enter the following into the the navigation field: about:config

You should now see a long and intimidating list of...well...stuff. Right click (or hold down "ctrl" and click) anywhere on that page. Now select: New --> Integer

When the little window pops up, enter: accessibility.tabfocus

When the next window pops up, enter: 7

That's it! You can just close that window and enjoy mouse-free browsing.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Soldiers Come Quickly

And they're coming to Salt Lake City on September 10th.

Ice Cream Headache

Just thought I’d tell you a personal story of Apple, specifically the iTunes store, going above and beyond (even if the customer service rep didn’t read my complaint very closely).

I recently preordered the new Smashing Pumpkins and Interpol albums from iTunes to take advantage of a preorder opportunity for tickets to their respective fall tours.

Unfortunately their partner on the promotion was Ticketmaster. So despite Salt Lake City being listed as a participating city, it turns out Ticketmaster doesn’t actually sell tickets for the venue (http://www.mckayeventscenter.com/) where both concerts are taking place.

Needless to say, I was a little unhappy as the main reason I bought from iTunes was the ticket preorder.

Here’s what I wrote:

“I was just writing to complain about the presale program for the newest Smashing Pumpkins album (Zeitgeist) and the newest Interpol album (Our Love To Admire).

I bought the albums through iTunes because of the advertised opportunity to buy advance tickets to concerts for both artists. (It seemed like a great way to buy the albums and get early tickets to both Salt Lake City shows.)

Despite the fact that Salt Lake City was listed as a participating city for as long as the ads appeared on iTunes, though, Ticketmaster never presold tickets. And now tickets for both shows are on sale (neither through Ticketmaster).

As I said before, I bought the albums from iTunes primarily because of this deal. I was wary of the deal because I’ve had bad experiences with Ticketmaster before, so I’m not surprised that they would claim to be selling tickets to a venue with which they don’t have a contract. But I thought that the Apple name made the deal trustworthy. I guess I was wrong.”

And here is Apple’s response:

“I understand you pre-ordered "The Smashing Pumpkins" and "Interpol" for the soul purpose of receiving the promotional codes for the pre-sale tickets, only to find out that neither of these bands, will be performing in your area. I know how upsetting it can be, to expect something, and then be let down. I apologize for any inconvenience this issue has caused.

I have viewed the Ticketmaster website, and they are infact, selling tickets to both of these shows, unfortunately, there is nothing scheduled for the state of Utah. Seeing as the pre-sale of the tickets is the only reason you ordered these items, I would like to offer you a refund for both of these purchases.

Please be advised that all iTunes Store sales are final, so this is a one time exception. This refund should be posted to your credit card, within 3-5 business days, from today.

Once again, I apologize for any inconvenience this issue has caused.
Thank you for choosing the iTunes Store and have a great day!

Sincerely,

Sandra
iTunes Store Customer Support
http://www.apple.com/support/itunes/ww”

I think that Apple took the initiative and has really tried to make me happy. And I wanted to make sure other people heard about.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

This Made My Day

Jon Lovitz kicked Andy Dick's ass.

I repeat, Jon Lovitz kicked Andy Dick's ass.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Obama fever

My vote for president is going to the candidate with the hottest dancers on You Tube. Same goes for mayor of Salt Lake. Better get the party started, Ralph Becker.

Monday, July 16, 2007

The Boy Who Lived

Harry Potter will be wrapping up, one way or another, this Saturday at 12:01 a.m. But that’s not what this post is about.

The movie came out last Wednesday and has already made $140 million. But this post isn’t exactly about that either.

It’s about the confusion of the two. Some people have been whipped up into a Potter-frenzy. But not me. In fact, I had an impossible time even remembering when the movie was going to be released.

Thing is... I don’t think I have room in me to care about two variations of the same things. Let along when one is new and exciting (the book) and the other is the fifth water-downed (but cool) translation of the book. The book that came out like five years ago.

Maybe what I’m saying is that I’m not as interested in movies as books anymore. Or maybe it’s that I just don’t have the time or energy to care about most pop culture. Or maybe it’s something else entirely.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

؟Rare Punctuation‽ §§1.1


The gnaborretni.

An inverted interrobang for use in Spanish, Asturian, and Galician.

¡Verdad?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

E3: Ignoration

Mark. My nerdy gaming board crashed months ago so I am in the dark when it comes to E3 news.

I watched Reggie on the live stream, but beyond online Mario Kart and that Metroid Prime playing babe the whole conference looked like a wash.

Anything I should know or be looking forward to?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

A new hope.

Maybe you haven't been following USA football lately. I wouldn't blame you.

Our future has not looked all that bright after our emotionally-wrenching exit from the 2006 World Cup and our humiliating 0-3 finish in the Copa América 2007.

But there is hope.

The U-20 World Cup, the ultimate tournament for players under 20, has just wrapped up group play and USA looks great.

Freddy Adu scored a hat-trick in a game against Poland and Jozy Altidore dismantled the Brazilian defense in a thrilling victory.

Best part?

They are 18 and 17 respectively. That means they are young enough to participate in the next U-20 World Cup.

Tired of Donovan?

Watch USA vs. Uruguay tomorrow at 7:45 EST, ESPNU.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Lookout! Radioactive Man.

The best band that I’d guess you think you’re too good to listen to: Fall Out Boy.

That’s right, Fall Out Boy. The “pop” driven “emo” band. You may not believe that they rock, so here is my story.

I didn’t think I’d like them either. But, like all bands one ends up loving, there was some piece of a song that stuck in my head. And it stayed there. And it made me like the band.

(The lyric in question, just in case you’re wondering, “Your secret’s out and the best part is it isn’t even a good one.”)

What I’m saying is that there’s actually some very enjoyable music on both of the most recent Fall Out Boy albums. Sure, they’ve been smashing into the svelte, odious “Emo” label, but at their core are two solid rock albums with clever, ironic lyrics and some of the catchiest choruses I’ve heard in a while.

Give both albums at least three attentive listens, if you haven’t already. You won’t be disappointed.

Friday, July 06, 2007

This Bliss.

2007 is already an incredible year for music.

Despite some unfortunate missteps (Arcade Fire, The Chemical Brothers, Kaiser Chiefs, The New Pornographers), a lot of perennial favorites have had strong showings (Björk, The Clientele, Interpol, Modest Mouse, Nine Inch Nails, The Shins, Spoon).

Even new comers (Battles, Marnie Stern) and artists I had never bothered with in the past (!!!, Of Montreal) have surprised me with solid albums.

But really 2007 has been the year of Ambient, Minimal Techno and IDM.

These terms probably don't mean anything to you. They barely register as genres for me too.

Let us just say that Eluvium, The Field, Gui Boratto, Kalabrese, Stars of the Lid, and The Tuss (aka. Aphex Twin) have released some of the best electronic music in years.

And then there is Pantha du Prince.

Back in February when I started listening to This Bliss, Chris Dahlen wrote a fascinating article about the music scene at McMurdo Station in Antarctica.

I will be honest. I didn't know people actively lived in Antarctica, let alone put on regular live shows.

In a way it was a disappointing discovery. I had always imagined the South Pole to still be one of those rugged patches of inhospitable territory -- harsh terrain transversed only by foolhardy explorers.

Pantha du Prince seems to share this same romantic vision, as This Bliss evokes solitary sojourns across tundra landscapes [and interior labyrinths]. Each track imagines a different season of the Arctic, from the calm glacial vistas of "Asha" to the blinding dancefloor blizzard of "Moonstruck".

One potential word to describe the album is cinematic. It would sound like the perfect Planet Earth soundtrack, if it wasn't so compulsively introspective. Each song is guided less by visual panorama and sequential narrative than emotional necessity. The sampled Robert Skempton strings in "Saturn Strobe" speak to some ineffable melancholy perversely mirrored in the surrounding landscape.

Not since Björk has there been an electronic album that weds digital abstraction with such inner warmness.

And I seriously doubt I will hear a more beautiful and lush album this year.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

thought for food:

The human genome consists of 2.9 billion characters -- or about 750 megabytes of data.

To give you some perspective, Logan's lame mixtapes (uncompressed) are about 700 megabytes of data.

Give that some thought.

Now consider that 97% of the genome is supposed to be junk DNA.

This means that the essential data that goes into creating a single human being is approximately 22.5 megabites.

That is the same size as the "We're Not Going To Take It" video my friend used to trash upload onto FTP sites in exchange for software.

In terms of pure data, you are the equivalent of a Twisted Sister music video.

Give that some thought.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Strict T9

43 968 8665 843 8463 86 872675283 8447, 4 276564493. 289 6673 68258463.