An Open Letter to Google
Dear Google,
Neither Gmail nor any other Google product has ever helped me get a date or win the lottery. (I trust you have a team of developers working on these and other male pattern baldness related issues as we speak.) But I feel compelled to tell you, both as a consumer and as a user of most things Google, that I love you. Had you and I ever dated, you'd know I don't use that word lightly.
Until now I've been forced to use a dummy AOL account for incoming email and a series of ridiculous filters to make Gmail compatible with my iPhone, but those days are over. I've assured friends and family for the past couple of months that you'd come through with a brilliant solution to solve these problems and, as always, you have. Thank you. For reals. Please never stop being awesome. If I could donate money to you or afford to buy even a single share of your stock, I would in a heartbeat. Instead I'll just keep using all of the wonderful things you make for me, and continue making fun of anyone and everyone who uses anything but Google for...well...everything.
Sincerely,
Ben
PS, thank you for making the Google Maps application on my iPhone one of the coolest and most useful tools in the world. Any time you and Apple team up on something, I promise to buy/use it.
PPS, also thank you for making street view work in Portland, OR. It is rad.
Neither Gmail nor any other Google product has ever helped me get a date or win the lottery. (I trust you have a team of developers working on these and other male pattern baldness related issues as we speak.) But I feel compelled to tell you, both as a consumer and as a user of most things Google, that I love you. Had you and I ever dated, you'd know I don't use that word lightly.
Until now I've been forced to use a dummy AOL account for incoming email and a series of ridiculous filters to make Gmail compatible with my iPhone, but those days are over. I've assured friends and family for the past couple of months that you'd come through with a brilliant solution to solve these problems and, as always, you have. Thank you. For reals. Please never stop being awesome. If I could donate money to you or afford to buy even a single share of your stock, I would in a heartbeat. Instead I'll just keep using all of the wonderful things you make for me, and continue making fun of anyone and everyone who uses anything but Google for...well...everything.
Sincerely,
Ben
PS, thank you for making the Google Maps application on my iPhone one of the coolest and most useful tools in the world. Any time you and Apple team up on something, I promise to buy/use it.
PPS, also thank you for making street view work in Portland, OR. It is rad.
posted by B S Goldsmith at 10/25/2007 12:06:00 PM
1 Comments:
Did you know that Google has a 300 year plan for world peace? It's true! They don't talk very much about it but they do. 300 years is just long enough for people to forget that they ever had a plan in the first place, but I guess it gives them some street cred for the time being.
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