Tuesday, March 31, 2009

c19h28o2

Gears of War 2

Infinitely superior to its predecessor in every conceivable way, Gears of War 2 is a Michael Bay blockbuster filled with ludicrous set-pieces (yes, at one point you ride a rocket-launcher wielding dinosaur) and a gynophobic subtext that will launch a thousand pop-culture dissertations (after the yonic emergence holes and the infiltration of the planet's womb, was there any question that the principal villain of the series would be a Locust Queen?). Too bad Gears is still hampered by terrible level design that rarely takes full advantage of the cooperative multiplayer mode.

Grade: B

Sunday, March 29, 2009

For A Price That's Low. Yet Quite Sane!

It only took 9 years of constant harassment to finally convince Ruben Bolling to publish another Crazy Morty cartoon.

Monday, March 23, 2009

No such thing as a free lunch.

I imagine most people felt the same dread that I did when they received their Jury Summons: that unwanted burden of responsibility that encourages even the most civic minded of us to malinger.

The essential randomness of the process also makes it seem the most punitive. It is like receiving a summons to the principal's office -- which may not be an unfair simile as idling in the jury selection room certainly feels like being in detention.

As we waited - and waited and waited - to be selected to a trial, a few people flipped through the channels on the court television, eventually settling on Judge Mathis. Suddenly TV Judges seemed like an appealing option: quick and capricious. Why not just outsource our civic duties to media personalities?

That cynicism immediately evaporated when we were brought to court to begin the jury selection process. Our circuit judge took the time to thank us for our participation and explain the importance of the jury process in the judicial system. It was a small, intimate moment that perfectly set the tone for the importance of our duty at hand. [Later, the judge even made everybody in the courtroom rise for the jury: a wonderful reversal in deference.]

The jury selection process was surprisingly involved. I never anticipated being interrogated for 3 hours on my opinions on tort reform. I assume trial lawyers are taught to weed out any potential members of the jury that might be unsympathetic to personal injury claims. That is the only possible explanation of how I snuck into the actual jury -- I was 22 of 26, but multiple people in front of me expressed extreme incredulity at the infamous McDonald's coffee case.

The experience of sitting through a trial was also curious. Culturally, I think we are all used to being able to access any information whenever we want. In a trial, however, there are specific rules as to what is admissible as evidence in court. Deliberate myopia. It was hard to let go. I think the question we all wanted to hear as a jury, relevant or not, was why the plaintiff even brought the case to court in the first place.

[Entirely irrelevant: both the plaintiff and defendant were particular dislikable.]

In case you are wondering the results of the trial:

When we convened in the jury room, we went around the table one by one and each presented our opinion of the case and our initial estimate of the liability.

The information deprivation was difficult in this deliberation process -- particularly because the nature of the case was so subjective. As Sam commented: how do you put a price on leisure?

By the time it came to me, most of the jurors had settled in the $5000 - $15,000 range with a couple of people offering numbers in the $20,000 - $40,000 range.

I completely torpedoed the consensus with a figure of $1200 (my estimate was based off of valuing leisure time at $10 a hour, multipled by 20 hours a week over 6 weeks) -- which was surprisingly difficult to stand by. When one of the jurors offered an initial estimate of $35,000, I had a hard time gauging whether I was the "unreasonable" one. It was like a psychology experiment, in which a group is purposefully trying to convince the participant that white is black. More than anything, I wanted to use a lifeline and contact a friend to discuss the trial with somebody whose opinion I trusted.

As one of the outliers in the jury (the mean was $12,000), I immediately began to negotiate with some of the jurors who had lower initial estimates. In Oregon, you need 9 of the 12 jurors to agree on a verdict. I was afraid of the middle-ground shifting to a higher number, especially since the presiding juror was a Professor of Law at Lewis & Clark who was arguing for $12,000.

Through some pragmatic maneuvering, a fellow juror and I were able to round up the necessary jurors with the magic number $6000 (people like tidy sums and $1000 x 6 weeks seemed to catch peoples' ears). I would say that was a fair representation of the collective will of the jury, even if that number might have been higher given different negotiations.

The deliberation process was surprisingly calm and organized. If you had told me that I was going to sit a room with complete strangers and rationally discuss and come to a consensus based of the evidence presented in a court case, I would have been skeptical. But amazingly, every single member of the jury was courteous and thoughtful. It gave me entirely new respect for the basic tenets of the Enlightenment.

In the end, I think everybody in the jury left the process extremely positive about our judicial system, even if the county could no longer afford to buy us lunch afterwards.

Friday, March 20, 2009

what the what?

how can don draper be liz lemon's boyfriend? he's gotta be like 80 years old now. or she's gotta bee like a baby then. i'm so confused. logan, can you explain this to me?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

You be the judge.

For the past two days, I served as a juror in a civil court case. Due to the highly subjective nature of the verdict, I am curious as to how you all would have ruled if you had been a member of the 12 person jury.

Here is the evidence submitted into the record:

In early August 2007, the plaintiff and the defendant were involved in an automobile accident. As the plaintiff was riding through the crosswalk on his bike, the defendant ran into him with her car. As a consequence, the plaintiff fell and suffered a small hairline fracture in his right shoulder-blade. The defendant admitted fully liability for the accident.

Although the plaintiff testified that the accident did not cause him substantial pain ("uncomfortable" was the most common adjective), he was however, unable to train or race in his competitive triathlon league - an activity in which he participates in his spare time - for approximately three weeks.

By the end of the third week, he reported to his doctor that he was "feeling better" and able to run and bike again. By the sixth week, he felt "normal" and was able to swim. Finally, at the end of September, he competed in his first triathlon since the incident. Unfortunately, he missed 2 or 3 races during his recovery and was effectively eliminated from competition due to its cumulative point based system. He had been training for the season since early January of that year.

In 2008, the plaintiff completed a full season and placed at the top of his age bracket. He reports no lingering pain due to the accident.

The plaintiff is suing the defendant for non-economic damages (not medical expenses or salary loss, just past inconvenience and suffering as a cause of the accident) in the amount of $60,000. The defendant denies the extent of the damages.

As a hypothetical juror, you only have one question to answer: for how much money should the defendant be held liable?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Thoughts and allegations (3.0 update)

3.0 Update

A few of my complaints will be fixed this "summer."

1) MMS support is coming. So my unlimited message plan won't go to waste.

2) Landscape in text and e-mail. (A minor gripe of mine.)

And if a photo app update that lets you rotate photos is one of the 100 other enhancements, I'll be completely happy.

Original post:

After having an iPhone for a month, I have a few things to say that you've heard before:

1) MMS support. Really. The phone is basically a computer, but it can't handle a picture message. I don't believe that, and I expect it to be fixed in 3.0.

2) Most people don't get why I'm such a fan of the Air Mouse App. Two reasons: It works, and $6 is a lot cheaper then $129 for a wireless keyboard and mouse. Just don't use the accelerometer mouse.

3) I know I'm a greasy guy, but it's still disconcerting to clean my screen right before I get a phone call. I'll never get used to that large, semi-face-shaped smudge.

4) I like having instant access to my e-mail, text message conversations and address book. When something happens, like yesterday's fantasy league controversy, I up-to-date in seconds.

5) Speaking of fantasy, Yahoo charges $10 for stat tracker. That's too much. Except maybe on the iPhone. I might pay $10 for an iPhone Stat Tracker app. (Hint Hint.)

That's all for now.

Breaking News: Condoms Make AIDS Problem Worse

Man, Benedict makes me appreciate John Paul dos.

Seriously, this statement will contribute to deaths. It just adds to the consistent dispersal of erroneous information (read lies) about condoms and HIV/AIDS from the highest levels of the Catholic church. I have no problem with advocating chastity before marriage and fidelity after. This, however, is not okay.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Leviathan, Bound

Gears of War

Nasty, brutish and short. Not to mention stupid and incomprehensible. Released a mere 10 days before the Wii, Gears of War will surely come to represent everything wrong with the non-Nintendo gaming industry during the seventh generation console wars.

Grade: C-

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

the national pastime

Pitchers and Catchers have long since reported. The most famous player in the game has admitted to using steroids, (no really?) and yesterday he had surgery that will keep him out for six-nine weeks. But this post isn't about A-Rod.

I know I'm probably in the minority here, but to me baseball is more interesting than A-Rod. (I'd never make it at the Post, right Sammy?)

Sure there are compelling stories unique to this year; can the Rays maintain their winning ways? How much will I get to enjoy the Yankees season schadenfreude style? Can my personal favorite team, Atlanta, win with the Frankenstein of a team they've stitched together? But the real excitement of baseball getting started is the same as it is every year.

Baseball means spring and spring means baseball. It has been, in many ways, a rough winter, I'm ready for some spring. I think the nation is.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

The post in which I rank the 1967 Best Picture Nominees.

1. The Graduate
2. Bonnie & Clyde
3. In The Heat Of The Night
4. Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
5. Doctor Dolittle

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Days of Future Present

Well. The Watchmen is coming out tomorrow and if the early reviews are any indication, Mark was right: Snyder followed the graphic novel within an inch of his life. Every interview with the director sounded like it was ripped from a Borges short story. "If only I could recreate the comic experience perfectly, then the fanboys will have nothing to complain about!"

I think Greengrass was as close as we were going to get to a decent translation for the screen. Maybe Aronofsky too.

Movies with their many interchangeable parts are tailor made for such parlour-game counterfactuals.

I was reading Pictures at a Revolution and apparently both Godard and Truffaut were each at one point signed on to direct Bonnie & Clyde. How cool would that have been?

Or for you Palahniuk fanatics: Peter Jackson was originally going to direct Fight Club with Russell Crowe and Reese Witherspoon. Just think about the disastrous ramifications this would have had on our poor young Mark's emotional development.

Perhaps my favorite piece of movie potentiality: Sean Connery apparently turned down roles in both The Matrix [Morpheus!] and The Lord of the Rings [Gandalf!] - including a 15% cut of the worldwide box office receipts for the latter.

Given the terrible reviews, it is hard to not imagine what a Greengrass helmed Watchmen movie would have looked like with Simon Pegg as Rorschach and Joaquin Phoenix as Doctor Manhattan.

Okay. I take it all back.

That Greengrass version probably would have sucked too.

But at least it would have been interesting.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Kindle too

As much as I want a Kindle 2, $360 is too much for a device that allows me to buy books for $10 and access web content that I can already get (and pay to access) through my iPhone. Fortunately, there's an intermediary solution: The iPhone Kindle app.

Just like the Kindle, you can buy an eBook on Amazon.com, and it will automatically download to your phone. More interesting, if you have a Kindle 2 and the Kindle app, the Amazon network will sync your bookmarks. So if you read 50 pages of a book on your Kindle 2 before you go to bed, your iPhone will automatically jump to where you left off when you start reading on your morning commute. Pretty snazzy.

I bought Coraline to test it out. Reading a book on a small screen isn't a big issue for me. (I actually read the first four Harry Potter books on my old Palm Pilot.) The font size scaling is nice. The illustrations are included. It's portable. And it was cheap (less than $5).

One thing is for sure: The Kindle app is not a Kindle.

For starters, you use the basic flick motion to turn pages, which doesn't really feel right. You have to go the Amazon website to buy books. You can use Safari on your iPhone to do it, but it's still inconvenient. Sorry, no magazines.

But I think the app accomplishes Amazon's main mission. I want a Kindle 2 even more now.

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