Scribble me this

Imagine that someone invented the ultimate sandbox. A sandbox that lets you create anything you want out sand. But then the inventor tells you that whenever you use the sandbox, you can't use your arms or legs, and you have to keep your eyes closed.

That what it feels like to play Scribblenauts. Scribblenauts is a great concept, but a terrible game.

[For the uninformed (most of you), Scribblenauts is a puzzle game for the DS. Sort of. The whole game is built around solving puzzles with a magic notepad. Write the name of an object in the magic notepad, and that object appears on-screen and can be used to burn down the tree. Or fly you over the fire. Etc.]

Problem is, the game has a major flaw that curb-stomps all the fun you could be having: It's impossible to control the main character.

For some reason, you move your character around with the stylus. Usually, this means that you'll tap on the screen, and the little mouth-breather will run straight off a cliff. Or he'll inexplicably throw away the spear it took you there taps with the stylus to put in hands. The most frustrating thing is that the d-pad and face buttons aren't used for anything important.

I tried to stick with the game so that I could give it a fair shake (and review here on my blog). Then I realized that I don't get paid for this. So I stuck the stupid game in it's envelope and sent it's ass back to Gamefly.

Maybe Scribblenauts 2 won't be broken.

Grade: F+

The Infinite Pet

LittleBigPlanet
Sadly, I found this game to be jaw-droppingly gorgeous, yet dull and lifeless. I have become everything I hate about gamers. Mark: where did I go wrong?

Grade: INC

"Suck lead, moon!"

When Obama wrapped up the Democratic nomination last June, I remember reading a few articles that predicted the decline of satirical late-night humor once "The Decider" left office. Yet here we are almost a year into Obama's first term and I must say that this might be the best The Daily Show has been during its 10 year run.

Although the show has lost many of its best correspondents from the Bush years, its refocusing on the farce that is the 24-hours news cycle has unearthed boundless reservoirs of humor. In particular, four segments from a couple of weeks ago (CNN Leaves It There, Queer and Loathing in D.C., Super Prize Me, Rape Nuts) had me in stitches (ROFLing, if you will).

Just a friendly reminder for those of you who might have forgotten about The Daily Show in our age of utopian democracy.

A World Apart

The 2000s: 10 Deadliest Natural Disasters

Updated version!

The decade is ending. It's time to compile top ten lists. Best music, movies, fights, scandals, etc. of the decade. I challenge all of you to post several lists like this. Here's my first.

10. Afghanistan blizzard.


The extreme weather event killed 1,337 in February 2008. The mountains got 70 inches of snow overnight. People froze to death. There was lots of frostbite and amputations because people didn't have shoes. Some estimate that the blizzard also killed 100,000 sheep and 300,000 cattle.

9. Hurricane Katrina.


It's one of the greatest disgraces in American history, but only the 8th deadliest natural disaster of the decade. The 2005 storm killed 1,836 and caused $84 billion in damage. The flood waters brought some of the worst aspects of America to the surface -- most notably that George Bush didn't care about black people.

8. Swine flu


Started in Mexico. Moved all over. Killed at least 3,2oo people worldwide in 2009. Far less deadly than seasonal flu, but a new strain, so it makes the decade list.



7. Gujarat earthquake.


In January, 2001, an earthquake registering 7.9 on the Richter scale devastated the Indian state of Gujarat. 20,000 died. 167,000 people were injured. Around 600,000 people were left homeless.

6. Bam earthquake.


The city in southeast Iran was rocked by a 6.5 magnitude quake, which killed 30,000 people. Many were crushed as they slept. About 70% of the houses in Bam were destroyed. "I have lost all my family. My parents, my grandmother and two sisters are under the rubble," 17-year-old Maryam told Reuters at the time.

5. European heat wave.


It's sort of unbelievable to think that 37,451 could die in Europe due to severe heat, but that's exactly what happened in 2003. It was the hottest summer ever in the northern hemisphere. Crops were devastated and fires burned across the continent.

4. Sichuan earthquake.


One of the most disturbing elements of the 2008 earthquake that killed some 70,000 people in Sichuan Province, China was the death of thousands of kids who were crushed in shoddily built schools. The Chinese government has refused to release the actual number of students who died in the earthquake, but the number estimated to be around 10,000.

3. The Great Pakistan Earthquake.


Just before 9 a.m. on October 8, 2005, a devastating 7.6 magnitude earthquake hit the Kashmir region of Pakistan, killing about 70,000. Hundreds of villages and large sections of towns were completely destroyed. We're talking 450,000 homes, 6,000 schools and hundreds of hospitals. To quote an article on the lasting impact of the disaster, "The earthquake left in its wake millions of survivors to face devastation in form of destruction of their homes and means of livelihood."

2. Cyclone Nargis.


May 2, 2008. Cyclone Nargis makes landfall in Myanmar, causing the catastrophic destruction of entire towns and the deaths of 146,000 people. 120 mile per house winds smacked the low-lying Irrawaddy delta in central Myanmar. Most of the victims were in the delta, where farm families sleeping in flimsy shacks barely above sea level were swept to their deaths.

1. Indian Ocean tsunami.


The deadliest tsunami ever. The 5th deadliest natural disaster in the history of mankind. 443,929 people died after the waves hit. It was the day after Christmas, 2004. A 9.2 magnitude earthquake in the Indian Ocean caused the tsunami, which slammed Indonesia, Sri Lanka, India and Thailand with 100 foot waves. The earthquake that sent the waters on their hell path caused the entire planet to vibrate and triggered other earthquakes as far away as Alaska.

HELLO my name is

"And your name is Robin?"

"Actually, my name is Logan."

"Then why are you wearing a name tag that says Robin?"

FLASHBACK

In my living room eating Gorilla Munch cereal and watching Community on Hulu while wearing nothing but a Utah sweatshirt and pajamas with an obscene rip down the middle. A knock at the door. I turn around in time to make eye contact with an officer of the law standing on my porch. Without a clandestine angle to the bedroom to put on something less provocative, I grab the only article of clothing on the way to the front door: an apron that was part of my Oscar Party costume.

FLASHFORWARD

"Because what I am wearing underneath is not decent enough for public."

"Listen. Just tell your landlord to contact us." The Multnomah County Vector and Code Enforcement agent spat as he walked away in disgust.

Weekend planned...

School of Seven Bells, Doug Fir, 10/08/09

School of Seven Bells have always sounded better live than on record (not a backhanded complement mind you). But now courtesy of Timothy Saccenti (who you may or may not know from Battles's amazing "Atlas" music video), they also come backed with one of the most spectacular visual shows I have ever seen. This online clip barely does the show justice, but hopefully it will give you a small taste of the visuals. Worth the reduction in hearing you are bound to suffer after the incredibly loud concert.

Yeezy Prepares Nobel Interruption

Hours after the surprising announcement that native Kenyan and sitting U.S. President Barack H. Obama (ever notice that he and Jesus have the same middle initial?) had been selected for the Nobel Peace Prize, fellow Chicagoan Kanye West posted notes on his blog detailing his pretended interruption of Obama's prize acceptance speech.

"Yo, Barry, you're my boy and all, and I'm really proud of you. But. . . and I'm gonna let you finish, but Nicolas Sarkozy had one of the most peaceful years of all time!"

Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Really I just wanted to give my reactions to Obama winning the peace prize. I am a bit stunned to be honest. I am happy that the international perception of our country is so drastically different from just a year ago, and I think it's no secret I am fond of the man. But this feels a bit premature, and it seems a lot like a not Bush award.

That said, I can kinda see where the Norwegian panel is coming from. . . it sort of makes sense. I mean just think about how much peace has been proliferated in less than a year just by having Obama at the U.S. helm not Bush. How would GWB have handled the North Korea prisoner situation? Would we be gearing up for the invasion of Iran, or at least making the case for use of force to the U.N.? Obama not being Bush has probably saved a lot of lives.

It was a dark and stormy night.

Batman: Arkham Asylum
Has the bar really been set this low? I understand the excitement that gamers must feel about a reverentially licensed game, but the hyperbole in the press and the gaming community surrounding Batman: Arkham Asylum is just disgraceful. While the game does an admirable job of tailoring a rather violent genre to the Batman franchise (no guns, no kills), it fails to do any justice to the caped crusaders vaunted detective skills. The Riddler environmental puzzles are dull and a majority of the combat sequences involve little more than button mashing (Rocksteady's idea of difficulty seems to be simply adding more and more enemies). The game only soars (pardon the pun… just trying a turn at being a profession reviewer!) in the stealth set-pieces in which you silently take down unsuspecting henchmen one by one. Yet even these moments require little thought or creativity, merely patience as you wait for enemies to isolate themselves from the rest of the group.

A classic rental. No more, no less.

Grade: B-

Scene from a California airport.

"BLITZER: And do you support the public option -- a government- run health insurance company to compete with the private insurance companies?

SCHWARZENEGGER: I would stay away from that as far as I can, because government cannot run anything. And we have seen it here in California, that government is running the health insurance and the health care of our prisoners. And a federal judge had to step in and take over the health care of our prisons in California because it was disastrous.

So if they cannot even run 170,000 inmates that are locked up and can't go nowhere else, if they can't even run that, how can they ever going to run a health care or an insurance program of any sort for millions and millions of people in the United States?

I would just stay as far away as I can from that. Government is not successful in anything that they do. So therefore, don't do it."

-- as overheard on the CNN's Situation Room while waiting in the Oakland Airport terminal.