7 Habits of a highly effective blogger...

1) Draft Dwight Howard. Even if he's a terrible free throw shooter and the worst big man on turnovers, he rocks. And you'll totally start to understand how someone could have been dumb enough to draft him over LeBron. Even if you still think they're dumb.

2) Listen to podcasts more often than music, so you don't really have much music to write about. But then never think about blogging about podcasts. That would take too much work. And you probably listen to some geeky-ass shows anyway.

3) Don't listen to the people at your work who tell you they'd love to read your always sarcastic reviews of local restaurants. But do wonder why they all think it's hilarious that you compared eating pizza from The Pi (say) to eating a block of lard.

4) Think you're funnier than you are, and more interesting than you are. After all, more than 200 people from across the nation have stumbled across this blog. Make sure you don't think about how that's probably less than the number of people who have wrong-number called your mobile phone in seven years.

5) Also, don't think about how you've been out of High School for almost eight years. How you now know people that were too young to remember the same kids shows as you. How you think video games, not music, achieved perfection in 1994.

6) Don't ever question Oprah. Because she has the strength to smite you.

7) When you make a phone date with Logan, and he cancels. Reschedule. It is the only way to find out how long his beard is.