Sex, Life

Note: With a little help from my friends I realized that the first version of this post was kind of worthless. (Thanks Em.) Hopefully I've done a better job expressing something this time. Please forgive this double post of sorts.

Sexual satisfaction is among the most basic and most elusive human pursuits. Many, probably most of us end up trying to achieve it with a single committed partner, the same person with whom we choose to share our lives and resources. Finding it, even knowing how to find it, seems to be something that is often (forgive my generalization) easier for men than it is for women. (Although it sure as hell isn't easy for this man (I use the term loosely) to write about. . . .)

I think much of the problem for women has to do with cultural and societal constructs that may not only impede sexual enjoyment, but prevent open communication both within and outside their sexual relationships. Of course, a woman's own perceived deviation from cultural and societal ideals might be part of the problem too. People want to be normal, especially when it comes to sex, and women face the additional pressure of having all kinds of conflicting norms to live up to. Whatever the causes of the hurdles women face, Lori Brotto is intent on helping surmount them.

Brotto is, according to Daniel Bergner's recent NYTimes Magazine article, "one of the world’s leading specialists in what is known as hypoactive sexual desire disorder in women." The article is quite good, and does a much better job describing Brotto's work than I will be able to, but in the interest of having a point I'll give it a shot.

Basically, a woman is diagnosed with hypoactive sexual desire disorder when she feels distressed by her absence of sexual desire. Brotto treats women who want to want. (Which happens to be the title of Bergner's piece.) Sex and sexual satisfaction are obviously very personal things, and the amount of desire that one woman feels satisfied with might leave another woman wanting. (Or . . . not.)

The women who seek Brotto's help don't appear to have a physical problem, that is, their bodies respond the same way to stimulus that others' do. Brotto describes a sort of disconnect between mind and body, where women are so distracted by daily stresses, body-image worries, or fears that their libidos are dead that they are "oblivious to their bodies’ excitement, their bodies’ messages." (Bergner) Part of Brotto's treatment includes exercises to increase mindfulness where patients experience a simple event but are tasked with maintaining hyper-awareness of the sensations that accompany it, such as placing a raisin in one's mouth and eating it (for example.)

As I read the article I found myself thinking that the increased self-awareness Brotto is trying to instill in women who are unhappy with their sex-drives is something I'm seeking in my own life. Now, I'm not concerned about my sex-drive specifically, but I do worry that I might not really be experiencing life to the extent that I would like. That maybe I'm numbing my own sensations, maybe I'm spreading my awareness too thin? I wonder, am I satisfied with my own lust for life?

At one point Brotto describes how she was trained to respond to a patient's concerns about sex, "Change the subject, change the subject, change the subject." Too frequently that has been my own response to feeling dissatisfied. Read a book, watch a movie. . . get distracted. Ironically too much of that response is a huge part of the problem.

I've realized many of the activities are most fulfilling to me are ones that force me to focus my body and mind. Climbing, cooking, playing sports. . . sex. Others require a focus of one or the other, or maybe both at different times. Reading, writing, biking, gardening, even watching a quality movie. Better focus, more self-awareness can only make me a better climber, a better cook, a better writer, etc. Better focus during sex, would probably have both the benefit of making me a better lover, and increasing my own enjoyment.

So, how do I get there? If Brotto's treatment can work for hypoactive sexual desire disorder, can I make it work for the times when I feel hypoactive ambition, or hypoactive desire to get off the couch disorder? I don't know, but I'll say this: I will try to examine and savor every flavor in my next bite of food. I will try to feel more exactly the wrinkles in her lips and their pressure against mine if I'm lucky enough to get another kiss. I will even try to pay more attention to how this cold, dry Utah air feels against my face next time I walk outside. We'll see if it works.

American Gomorrah

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the nadir of the video game medium.

It might be technically competent, but I wouldn't pass an essay denying the Holocaust just because it was properly spell checked.

Grade: F

All that Jazz.

I'll admit I got a little misty eyed when I first heard that the Jazz had sold its broadcasting rights to FSN Utah. I can ascribe most of my enthusiasm for the Jazz to KJZZ-TV, which broadcast all of the games for free over local airwaves. I understand the financial incentive behind the decision, but I can't help but wonder if the 12-year agreement will have long-term consequences for the franchise. My parents couldn't afford to subscribe to cable when I was growing up and I worry that the Jazz organization will miss the opportunity to indoctrinate impressionable youth who may not have access to FSN Utah.

Although perhaps I am overplaying the importance of television in this day and age. I personally catch every Jazz game over NBA broadband. And with Comcast buying NBC, who knows for how much longer broadcast television will even exist.

Sam, as represented by an animated GIF

The road to Shambhala

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
Spectacular. After a few middling sequences that unflatteringly recall all the flaws of Uncharted: Drake's Fortune, Among Thieves comes roaring to life in Nepal with a series of outrageously entertaining set-pieces that you are probably going to want to play through again -- immediately after your first run through. Even all the minor irritants (patchy controls, exploration that is either too linear or not linear enough, lackluster endgame) are quickly forgotten amidst the breathtaking visuals and keen attention to detail.

That being said, I do want to highlight another instance of game designers' continual neglect of harmonizing game mechanic and narrative. In a rather tedious opening chapter, Nate sneaks into a Turkish museum to steal one of Marco Polo's lamps (don't worry, it doesn't make much sense in the game either). The game uses Nate's ethical code of not wanting to hurt civilians as a convenient excuse to force the player to practice stealth technique and non-lethal take-downs. Yet not ten minutes into the sequence, the player is required to grab a guard by the ankles and throw him down a cliff to his untimely doom: a devilishly fun maneuver that is unfortunately irreconcilable with the narrative. While this is a minor event in the overall story, it is symptomatic of an unsettling disconnect between the lighthearted tone of the story and the heavy bodycount that Nate amasses over the course of the game. In the end, it is this architectural dissonance between game mechanic and narrative that prevents Uncharted 2 from being as meaningful as it is delightful.

Grade: A-

World In Motion

As Mark once eloquently put it, in case you missed it...


Incredible news for the USA team. Not only do they have one of the easiest groups of the 2010 FIFA World Cup, but a win against England puts in position to play a weak Group D runner-up in the Knockout round of 16. And, dare I dream, a Mexico or France matchup in the round of 8.

Speedy recovery Davies and Onyewu.

Just called to say Halo

Halo 3 is exactly what you'd expect. It's the look and feel of Halo 2 with better graphics, a few new weapons and improved enemy AI. It's the spectacle and the joy of being a superhuman, supercyborg and laying waste to entire armies of alien invaders or zombie-like members of the Flood.

But it's two years old, which is—surprisingly—a longer time in video games than you would imagine. And the best sections of the game are still intermixed with the lame, irritating-long Flood sequences. (The Flood have always ruined Halo. Even accepting that The Flood are what make the story of the Halo trilogy happen—I have never understood why you'd replace the intelligent, challenging Covenant with the cheap, brainless Flood.)

Ultimately, though, still fun.


Halo 3: ODST, on the other hand, takes the best advancements in gaming over the last few years (with nods to Bioshock and GTA) and produces something that is unique but still feels like Halo. Without the trappings of the "epic" story and superhuman Master Chief, ODST is a spare, focused game with a refreshingly intriguing narrative.

ODST is cohesive in a way that few video games are. I really loved how the game's riff-on-a-detective-novel story not only makes the limited open world feel full, but uses narrative flashbacks to add variety to the gameplay and move the plot along. Plus, I don't think any intelligent, rational or respectable person (no friend of mine for sure) can dislike a game that features not one or two, but three actors from Firefly.

Finally, and best of all, there's no Flood.

Halo 3, B
Halo 3: ODST, A+

When the wild things tire

There's an obvious parallel to be made between Spike Jonze's Where the Wild Things are (co-written by Dave Eggers) and Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr. Fox (co-written by Noah Baumbach).

But, really, the similarities (indie-bred Directors who put a special focus on art, pedigreed writing teams, "children's book" source materials, animation) just emphasize the difference in both quality and content.


Where the Wild Things are is a moody, depressing and downright boring exercise in the sub-conscious. Rather than providing a cohesive story or plot, Jonze and Eggers extrapolate an eight-year-olds subconscious into a group of monsters—with each playing the role of a different anti-social tendency. The result is a strangely bland and tedious movie that doesn't really do or mean anything in the end. And the monsters rarely dance.


You have Fantastic Mr. Fox on the other side. Rather than continuing to explore the same moody tendencies than have weighed down his last few movies, Andersen mentions them and then focuses on the story and the characters. Instead of devolving into a psychological examination of what it means to be an animal, he mentions that possibility and then focuses on a more erudite exploration of the classic tropes and plot devices of the children's movie genre. And the animals often dance.

O rly?

Ya rly.

The schadenfreude highlight of last night's Real Salt Lake Championship victory is around 1:55 of this video when Donovan badly misses his shootout penalty kick. Ha!



The playoff games were a pleasure to watch, here's hoping RSL can turn this year's postseason success into a winning regular season next year!

LOGANMIX2003: The Piccolo Snare

2003 in brief: The state of indie rock in the first half of the decade could be tidily summarized with The Postal Service's Such Great Heights EP, featuring covers from Sub Pop royalty The Shins and Iron & Wine that have gone on to soundtrack our entire commercial reality. Just be grateful that UPS didn't option "Sleeping In" -- the early front runner for worst track of the decade.


10. Clearlake - Cedars

9. Junior Senior - D-D-Don't Don't Stop the Beat

8. The Darkness - Permission to Land

Stealing a page from Borges's short story Pierre Menard, I would like to suggest that Permission to Land is the first truly post-Rock Band album. The evidence is all there: just about every song on the album demands to be sung-along/air-guitared/drummed-on-the-table with shameless abandon. Moreover, The Darkness clearly have benefitted from Rock Band's brazen disregard for the assumed cultural boundaries between traditionally disparate scenes. One moment you are questioning your dislike of 80s metal while jamming away to Living Colour's "Cult of Personality" and the next thing you know, you are helping a leotard clad Justin Hawkins crowd surf atop a life-sized stuffed tiger (true story!). Wait a second: not a single The Darkness song is available for download through Rock Band? Preposterous!


7. M83 - Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts

6. Goldfrapp - Black Cherry

5. Apparat - Duplex

4. Four Tet - Rounds

3. The Rapture - Echoes

I demand a recount. Surely the greatest band of all time deserves a better position on this list than third. "Sister Saviour" was my musical augenblick: until I heard the track on internet radio, I didn't realize other people still liked this kind of music, let alone still made it. For me, The Rapture (to abuse a poor analogy for a moment) were like the messianic second coming of synth-driven post-punk -- nevermind that New Order had already returned to the scene a couple of year earlier. Forget that unfathomable dud of a track "Open Up Your Heart" that almost derails the entire album: "I Need Your Love" is sheer electro-bliss and the roller-coaster-stomp of "The Coming of Spring" sets up one of the finest track runs of the decade. And just when your local hater is ready to deflate the party with a snide reference to Gang of Four, The Rapture throw a curve ball and end the record with the absolutely stunning Talk Talk styled "Infatuation." Have I mentioned that they are - no exaggeration - the best band of all time?


2. Super Furry Animals - Phantom Power

Phantom Power stands out as a bit of an anomaly in the Super Furry Animals discography. For most of their career, the Super Furry Animals have unpredictably whiplashed through genre after genre on their records (Guerrilla shifts from Tropicalia to techno in the span of two tracks). Yet, Phantom Power has an underlining conceptual focus and a - dare I say it - restrained palette, which might sound strange for an album that ends with a schizophrenic 7+ minute technopop number. Not that the Super Furry Animals have lost any of their playfulness; for the most part, Gruff Rhys is still impishly oblique. "Venus and Serena" certainly sounds like a song about the tennis playing Williams sisters, but in actuality is about a boy adopted by wolves talking to his pet turtles. The introduction to "Hello Sunshine," a sample ripped straight from the flower power duo Wendy And Bonnie, might seem like a nostalgic cry for the halcyon 60s, but the Super Furry Animals have claimed that they merely added the snippet because they were too lazy to actually write a duet. The sunny harmonies and rich melodies, however, belie a surprisingly melancholy album. "Liberty Belle" might be the most joyously barbed critique of America put to song: "Liberty belle is ringing out / Across the sea / And everyone sings along / Though she's singing way out of key." Even the calypso soccer paean "The Undefeated" metamorphosizes into a haunting phantasmagoria as it dissolves in a volley of machine gun fire.


1. Basement Jaxx - Kish Kash

Sasha Frere-Jones recently posted on his New Yorker blog that at the turn of the century, he had predicted that Basement Jaxx and not Daft Punk would be the big crossover dance/electronic act of the decade. In a just world, he would have been right. Over the past ten years, Basement Jaxx have produced an endless parade of scorching singles ("Romeo" , "Lucky Star" , "Hey U" to name a few), while Daft Punk have been essentially coasting on the popularity of their 2001 jocktronica album Discovery. Perhaps - and this is just a hypothesis - Basement Jaxx are too imaginative. Every one of their songs is its own Garden of Earthly Delights; too densely stuffed with maniacal brilliance to be distilled into easy press bites or re-appropriated in delightful YouTube videos. Don't believe me? Just listen to the positively cathartic post-break-up anthem "Good Luck" that is probably still #1 in the charts of a more sane parallel universe. And the true testament to Basement Jaxx's power: for a brief moment in 2003, they made a few people actually believe that JC Chasez was more of a superstar than Justin Timberlake. Only the pure euphoria of "Plug It In" could create such a beautiful delusion.

Now I'm waiting for a signal or a sound. Where can you be found now, my love?

LOGANMIX2003: The Piccolo Snare

1. Almost The Same - Clearlake [Cedars]
2. Now It's On - Grandaddy [Sumday]
3. Satellite - TV On The Radio [Young Liars EP]
4. Ambulance - Blur [Think Thank]
5. Love Is Only A Feeling - The Darkness [Permission To Land]
6. Some Velvet Morning - Primal Scream [Some Velvet Morning Single]
7. Sister Saviour (Radio Edit) - The Rapture [Sister Saviour Single]
8. STD Dance - Ima Robot [Alive EP]
9. Strict Machine - Goldfrapp [Black Cherry]
10. The Last High - The Dandy Warhols [Welcome To The Monkey House]
11. Tiny Birds - Yo La Tengo [Summer Sun]
12. Such Great Heights - The Postal Service [Give Up]
13. Slow Life - Super Furry Animals [Phantom Power]
14. Good Luck (Original Mix) - Basement Jaxx [Good Luck EP]
15. Shake Your Coconuts - Junior Senior [D-D-Don't Stop The Beat]
16. Heartbreak Stroll - The Raveonettes [Chain Gang Of Love]
17. Miss Teen Wordpower - The New Pornographers [Electric Version]
18. There There - Radiohead [Hail To The Thief]