My troubles, they come in threes.

Movie trilogies.

Star Wars. Matrix. Godfather. Lord of the Rings. Back to the Future. Terminator. Vengeance.

Is there anything more disappointing than their concluding chapters?

I was disenchanted young. Alien 3 was probably the single most psychologically damaging moment of my childhood. [Don't even get me started on Resurrection.]

Somebody mentioned The Last Crusade as a good counterexample, but (un)fortunately Indiana Jones will be whipping Nazi ass in at least one more adventure.

[The only other acceptable answer is Army of Darkness. Maybe Naqoyqatsi.]

Still I strongly believed Spider-man 3 was going to buck the trend.

Spider-man 2 was superb and a strong leap in quality over its predecessor. And unlike X-men, the series still had its creative team intact. Even early trailers looked promising.

Alas it was not meant to be.

While not the unmitigated disaster of the Ratner Affair, Spider-man 3 is a mess. It feels like a film designed by executives with needless plot threads shoehorned in mid-development.

Nothing is adequately developed. The narrative never decides upon what course to commit (which suggests I should give more credit to Chabon for the story choices of Spider-man 2).

Amnesia is actually used as a plot device. Honestly. Watch.

Which is a shame as there are quite a few winning moments in the film.

Regardless, Hollywood will have plenty of chances to challenge my hypothesis this summer. They are really churning out the trilogies.

Shrek. Pirates of the Caribbean. Rush Hour. Ocean's.

All of which will make bazillions of dollars.

In terms of quality, however, I am putting my money on one last long shot:

The Bourne Ultimatum.

Do me proud Streisand.