Linguistic Update I

The word worry will no longer be used. Instead, substitute the word wonder.

This change has been instituted for two major reasons:

1) Worry is a sign of weakness; wonder is a pensive, intellectual activity.

2) Worry connotes fear of an unknown; wonder connotes awe for the unknown.

Examples:

I wonder if I’ll get cancer one day. (If you were to say “I worry I’ll get cancer one day” you’d sound like a paranoid fool. And you probably will get cancer, so no use worrying now.)

I wonder about the President’s latest political move. (You could worry about the negative effects of the President, but it is far more helpful to be in awe for his ability to make seemingly reasonless choices appear reasonable to Tony Blair and his base.)

Homework: think of a sentence of your life where you used the word worry instead of wonder. Use whatever means are necessary to correct your mistake.